


missing you

by orphan_account



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Gen, Implied Character Death, Implied Sora/Kairi - Freeform, Namine's name doesn't have accents in this fic bc i don't know how to do it on keyboard oop, Not Beta Read, Somewhat canon-compliant, isa and axel live separately for now; namine lives with isa, one-sided sora/namine, post kh3
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-10
Updated: 2019-11-10
Packaged: 2021-01-27 05:48:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,260
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21387103
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: in another life, another time, or even another story; perhaps i could be the one who is the most important to you.
Relationships: Kairi/Sora (Kingdom Hearts), Naminé & Sora (Kingdom Hearts), Naminé/Sora (Kingdom Hearts)
Comments: 1
Kudos: 18





	missing you

Isa’s job required him to take multiple business trips to Radiant Garden, usually spanning over the course of a weekend. On these occasions, Namine was glad to have the house to herself. She didn’t mind Isa’s company in the slightest, but after spending so much time in isolation, one adapts to the silence and becomes averse to the noise. 

Namine_ thought_ she had moved on, but every so often, she would become awash with sorrow about Sora. Taking out a large piece of card stock, she opened up her case of colored pencils, and got to work. Hopefully working on another piece would drive these emotions away. Long sweeps of her arms and careful, short strokes occupied her thoughts. But with every passing second, the once comforting sound of pencil scratching on paper became deafening. 

A minute passed. She paused for a moment, the cerulean pencil hovering over Sora’s iris. Backing away from the easel affixed to her desk, her eyes widened. Even without consciously thinking of him, she had already begun sketching Sora’s visage. Namine contemplated throwing it away, but the proportions were _just_ right, and a warm, cheerful smile graced his features. 

She felt her heart clench- even as a drawing, Sora’s smile reached her heart, through and through.

Silently, Namine reached for the floriography book that was stowed in one of the drawers, and flipped to the table of contents. She hunched forward to continue working, but her arms failed to continue the sentiment. Namine sighed. 

Her opinion of Sora was… _complicated,_ to say the least. 

///

_ Once upon a time, there was a witch who lived in a castle labyrinth, covered with lighting strikes and the scent of wild roses. _

_ When she woke up from her prison, she could barely move. She was no one, and no one knew who she was. She continued to live mechanically, following orders until the end of time. Wishing for love, she erased the existence of someone else. _

///

Sora was her light. 

She had no concept of kindness and love, until she met him. As a nobody, her own lack of a heart made her feel empty. Namine believed that she could be someone to him; a connection forged within the castle walls. One of her very own. 

Namine came to sought the love that Sora carried in his heart. But his love was restricted to his friends, and his friends alone. In an attempt to feel that love directed towards her, she manipulated his memories to erase her other: Kairi. In the end, she couldn’t aspire to be more than a tool. She could never replace Kairi. She was never the real one. 

Even after all the sins she committed, he had the graciousness to forgive her. 

Namine thought that nobodies could never grow hearts: but for once, just for a moment. She felt that statement was wrong. If she never had a heart, what was this warm, flourishing feeling that enveloped her whole body? 

She quickly glanced at the open page of the book. Page 209. 

_ Assorted Roses: You’re everything to me. _

Namine knew that she had to return to Kairi. And she was glad to do so: melding her existence with one of Sora’s friends meant that she would feel some of that sentiment towards her. But she was always dreadfully reminded that she was not Kairi, and Sora would never look towards _her_.

The heartbreak was slow, and painful. Cracks grew with every interaction, until she felt a chilling numbness flow through her body. She was unresponsive for several months. Namine accepted that she would never be able to find a place in his heart, but if she was honest: she was more than happy than to just be by his side. 

His light was her comfort. 

Namine flipped through the floriography book, landing on page 320. 

_ Zinnia: Thoughts of an absent friend. _

Finishing the details on his jacket, she made light indications of where the zinnia flowers would be placed. Her mind continued to drift. 

Namine was not that worried when she didn’t see Sora during the time of her return: she found that somehow, he would always find a way to come back. She had faith in him. With a heart to call her own, her affection for Sora grew tenfold, embracing her body with a love much more pronounced than when she existed as a nobody. 

As the days passed, A growing panic settled within her. She had faith in Sora; she _believed_ in Sora. Which is why the possibility that maybe he couldn’t come back, or maybe he had finally worn his heart to the brink, and that his luck finally ran out terrified her to no end. Namine wasn’t aware that a concept such as _existential panic_ existed, but she certainly felt it invade her thoughts. She became keenly aware of the fact that: in Sora’s place, she returned. 

The witch. 

Not the hero who everyone needed, whose smiles and light saved everyone from oblivion, but a pitiful witch who resigned herself to the shadows. This panic grew to a point where it became a demon that inhabited her mind. Having a heart had its downfalls: she was subjected to the extremes of every emotion: including sadness, frustration, and anxiety. 

Sora was gone. Her light was gone. 

Namine could feel the weight of her actions impede on her daily life. The guilt weighed down on her, preventing her from fully accepting the life she was given. She had manipulated him and many others, and she gracefully resigned her individuality as she returned to Kairi. She was keenly aware of how much people missed Sora, and she did, too. 

She was finished with the zinnias. Page 32.

_ Asphodel: My regrets follow you to the grave. _

Namine pulled away from her painting. She had long since applied water to the canvas: the colors from the pencils becoming less intense and melding together. It was an odd combination of flowers, but the color of the zinnias and roses helped frame the asphodels as the centerpieces of the side spaces. Bright pinks, magentas, oranges and yellows complimented the cerulean tone she chose for his eyes. 

However, there was an empty spot, near his heart. Namine was at a loss. It was empty, devoid of color. Wordlessly, she put away her brush in favor of a pencil: a scarlet red hue. The petals were faint. She had a chance to erase them, and to never think anything of it. She persisted. 

_ Rose(single, full bloom): I still love you. _

Finishing the outline of the petals, she leaned on the easel. Teardrops stained the canvas, forcing the colors to mix together chaotically. Namine smiled bitterly. _She ruined another piece, again._

She let the tears trail down her cheeks, making no motion to wipe them away. Minutes passed, and as she pulled away, the picture was horribly distorted. Namine pulled another portfolio from her desk: one reserved for works in progress, or works that had flaws in them, but she grew too attached to throw them away. 

Namine turned to the last page of the portfolio, slipping the stained portrait into the plastic slip. Adjacent to Sora’s portrait was her own attempt at a self-sketch. It wasn’t finished. No flowers framed the sides of the portrait, Namine only finished the profile. Her hair and clothes were perfectly sketched and painted, but her face was violently crossed out with black marker. 

A bouquet of flowers, colored in periwinkle and freshly picked from meadows, sat next to her easel. 

_ Harebell: Grief. _

**Author's Note:**

> this was taken from a discord rp: i act as their namine :)  
i wanted to experiment with the idea of unrequited sora/namine, and i also wanted to try and dig deep within her character and see how much guilt she held in her heart. unfortunately, this meant that her personality wasn't entirely canon compliant, but i hope you enjoy anyway.  



End file.
